generalparenting

I’m writing before the festivities start tonight. My son is dressing up as some scary guy, my oldest changed her mind and she is going to be some skeleton thing, my younger daughter is still going to be the gothic fairy ( that was bitten by a vampire… lol) and I am going to be the typical witch, without all of the nasty makeup. I’ve decided to take the car with us so that we aren’t stuck if it starts raining. ( It is Oregon after all ) I will drop them off at one end of the street and pick them up at the other end and drive them to the next destination. They are thrilled about this idea because that means more houses in less time. How funny! Any way those are our new plans for the evening. I hope everyone has a blast tonight. Don’t forget, be safe!!

Well it’s almost here, the day the kids have been anxiously waiting for since school started. Halloween. How many of you are taking the kids trick or treating this year? Door to door and up and down the streets ending of course at the hospital for the annual candy x-ray. That is so sad we have to do it but it is a necessary evil of the whole holiday unless you only go to people you know. It’s funny how much my kids look forward to this and it’s not even about the candy any more. Most of it gets thrown away or given to other kids. How funny! So tomorrow is it, the big day. No Halloween parties at school but a fall harvest party I guess that’s better than nothing. The kids are always so tired after trick or treating. You would think with all of the candy they would be wired but they usually sleep like babies after all of the walking. We usually go out about 6:30 and stay out until 9 or 10. That is a lot of walking!!! Any way, have fun tomorrow and be safe. Don’t forget your flash lights and if possible reflective tape on your clothing and don’t forget to check the candy before you eat it. Again, have fun.

As you can see I have been focused on children’s mental health the last couple of days with puberty looming over my son’s head. My oldest daughter went through hell when she hit puberty. It’s still not easy on her but much better than when she first started. She would have her normal teen ups and downs but then sometimes they would be so extreme all she could do was sit there rocking herself and cry.

My middle child has only had normal hormonal mood swings. No sign of any mental health issues as of today but she is only 13 so I guess I will just have to wait and see how she does. So far so good, I just got to keep my fingers crossed!

My son is the only one who is starting out before puberty with problems. I hope he pulls through ok. I know when I hit puberty I hit a really dark period in my life and it only got worse when I hit my 20’s. I want so much more for my kids. It makes me sad to think that my disease could be carried on to my kids. If something goes wrong with them I will feel responsible even though I have no control over my or their hormonal balance. It’s difficult being in this position not knowing what kind of emotional influence you are going to have over your children.

As I said a little while back my son had his first pimple, puberty is coming. I woke up today and could swear the kid grew three inches. He is growing before my eyes way to fast! I could be wrong but I could swear that at the beginning of summer he was a lot shorter than he is now.. *laughs* but now he is almost as tall as me. Don’t get me wrong I am only 5′3 so it’s not like he is some giant or something but I know he was only a little taller than my shoulder on his birthday. Geeze when they say kids grow to fast I didn’t know they meant it literally. He is eating nonstop too. I didn’t know someone could eat as much as he does. He is ALWAYS hungry. It kind of makes me laugh but it’s kind of scary too. He is growing up and going to have to face the world soon. I hope he makes it through puberty without incidents of major depression. Some kids go through that any way but he is already at high risk. UHhhh what can I do though but closely monitor him. I have talked to him and he knows how important it is for him to talk to me if his moods get severe and have tried to prepare him for the mood swings that are naturally going to happen and the extra moods he may have to deal with. I hope I’m over preparing him.

Yesterday I spoke about medicating my son for Bipolar. Today I am going to talk about the effects his anxiety has on him. He is steadily becoming more and more anxious at night. Now as I said he doesn’t have a diagnosis of being Bipolar yet but definitely has some anxiety issues. He has panic attacks at night that can be pretty severe. It’s hard to help him through. He has been getting a lot of showers in the evening to try to relax him and he has a few movies he likes to watch but other than that it’s pretty much up in the air. He was in counseling for awhile but when the counselor suggested that my son could control the attacks that was it. My son clammed up and won’t talk to him again. I can’t make him go if he isn’t going to talk to him. He feels he was being judged so he doesn’t want bothered with trying a new counselor. So we are trying to manage the best we can. He likes to read and color so sometimes he has calm days where that is all he does, those days he usually has a decent night but if there is any excitement in his day he either has a hard time sleeping or has an anxious night. Now there are medications for the anxiety that he can take that have no side effects, these are different than the Bipolar medications but we still try things like different teas and candles. Sometimes they work sometimes they don’t but they are always worth a try. My son is like me and doesn’t want to be medicated unless he has to be and so far he doesn’t think he has to be. I’m not going to make him take medication if he doesn’t think it’s gotten so out of control that he can’t take it any more. We talk every time he has his panic and we try to figure out what triggered it. Usually we can pin point it, that helps. It is still a struggle and is heart breaking for me to see him suffer. I hope we find some more ways to deal with the anxiety so that his evenings aren’t so bad for him. I don’t want him to dread the evenings coming, that will only bring more stress and anxiety. Again, I will keep you posted

One study from the National Institute Of Mental Health suggests that approximately 1% of kids between 13-18 Have symptoms of being Bipolar. Like me, some parents are worried about what long term affects medication will have on a child’s young growing bodies and minds. There is no guarantee that these kids are truly Bipolar because the symptoms vary and it’s not like they can take a blood test and say yes this one has Bipolar. Many of the symptoms can be anything from rebellion to ADHD. They could really be anything. Now don’t get me wrong, I truly and sincerely believe there are kids out there that are Bipolar and my son may be one of them.

So after the struggle of a diagnosis there is the issue of medication. Personally medication scares me half to death. There are so many and many of them have major side effects. I am on medication so I know the benefits but personally that is a major struggle for me when it comes to my son. I want to try ALL options before going that route. I asked the doctor if there was anything natural that my son could try before medication and he suggested not only for my son but for me as well to take fish oil. It’s completely safe unless of course you are allergic or something, it’s 100% natural if you buy the right one and the only side effect I have yet to experience is the awful tasting burping you have after taking them. I found that isn’t as bad when you take the natural ones.

Now I don’t know if this really works or if it’s all in mine and my son’s heads but both of us are feeling a tad bit better. I am definitely not saying that it is a cure all but it does help us some.

Fish oil is supposed to be good for the brain and anything good for the brain can’t be bad, right? I had to try it, I have a brain chemical disorder so how can this make things worse if it improves the function of the brain, right? Well so far my son and I take between 1500 and 2000 mg a day and I don’t plan on stopping any time soon. I am far from being a doctor nor am I capable of giving medical advice but as I said, prescription medication is going to be my last resort. I am hopeful that this is helping my son. I will let you all know how it goes.

Ok so this is definitly something that surpirsed me when I got it in my comments so ya me and the one who tagged me. I was tagged as a featured blogger or something like that. I’m still not real sure how it works but this is what I know.

So here are the official rules for this fun game–
1. Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
2. People who are tagged need to write their own blog post about their eight things and post these rules.
3. At the end of your blog post, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
4. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

Now here are the things about me that I just know ya’all want to know.

1. I am an adult teen mom who is single.

2. My kids are totally my life.

3. I am a complete computer junkie!!

4. I have a very high tolerence to alcohol… LOL

5. I went to an art institute and earned an Associates Degree

6. I have several animals… three ferrets, one mouse, and one cockatail.

7. I have a significant other whom I’m neither dating nor married to… hmmm figure that out lol.

8. Last but not least… I wrote a book.

Now the following are people or blogs that I totally am going to tag.

1. Jodapoet… I think she has some incredible views.

2. 30 something and searching

3.green not mean

4. mental health humor

5. cliterature

6.doublexgeeks

7. the answer man

I think that was what I am supposed to do so wish me luck as I tag the rest of these people and happy blog hunting.

Several years ago my son made friends with a boy that lived in our apartments. One day my son asked me why he had a rather large scar across the top of his head and barely any hair. That was the first time my son ever learned about cancer and that it could strike anyone at any age. That was a scary thing for him to know for real that kids could die. Try to explain cancer and death to a 2nd grade child. It’s not easy to do. The child died about six months later with unrelated reasons. That struck my son even more deeply than the cancer.

How unfair it was for this child to beat cancer and then be taken away anyway. There was a huge memorial service for him where most of the school attended. The kids were all familiar with him having had many questions about him and why he looked the way he did. The school was very good about dealing with the cancer and explaining to the kids that he had been sick, but when it came to the death of different reasons the school, in my opinion, just didn’t do so well. They had an assembly and told all of the kids that he had passed away and had provided counselors for any of the kids that felt they wanted to talk but there was little talking about the accident.

I don’t know how if affected the other kids but I know all of this destroyed my son who was extremely close to this boy. He felt he couldn’t talk to the counselors because he didn’t understand it himself therefor felt he couldn’t explain it to them. He struggled with this for a very very long time and I still see long lasting effects as a result of this death. My son almost panics if he leaves the house even if only to take the garbage out and he doesn’t say I love you to everyone in the house. He is to this day, four years later, afraid something is going to happen to him and he didn’t get to express how much he loved the people in his life.

I know death is hard for everyone, especially kids, but when it is the death of another child it seems to have such long lasting effects and I’m not sure other than counseling how to help him move past it. He is in counseling and he still has many issues with loss that I don’t know if he will ever get past. All I can do is be here like I have for the last four years if he wants to talk or just needs to be heard.

I was shocked when I came across this story on my local news. There was an eleven year old boy playing flag football and as he was trying to catch the ball he was struck in the throat by the ball. He fell to the ground and couldn’t breath by the end he had had a heart attack and died all from a simple game injury. Something like this would have never crossed my mind as a possible danger for my child. I can’t imagine the horror his family and friends must be feeling. It just doesn’t seem fair that a friendly game and a simple injury could cause so much damage to a family and community. I will be praying for his family and I hope those of you who pray all do the same. As a parent I can’t imagine out living my child and my heart breaks for this family, friends, and the child who threw the ball.. I can’t imagine how he is feeling even though it was completely not his fault and totally out of his control. Any way, I will be praying for them.

Well Halloween is right around the corner. Do you have your pumpkins cut and your decorations out? Did you cook your pumpkin seeds and buy your costumes? I did an I am done. The big and exciting night is just around the corner and the kids couldn’t be happier. Trick or treating, walking around the whole town in scary costumes collecting as much candy as you can in the few hours you can get before it gets to cold. What kids wouldn’t love it? Then there are parents like me who are tagging along watching their kids go crazy on sugar as they run from house to house. It’s a pretty cool thing to watch, until you get home and have to deal with the sugar high ! No seriously though I love watching my kids on Halloween because they are getting older and this is one of the times they allow themselves be swept up and act like kids. I love it!! They get so excited when we come home and they get to search through there stuff to see what they got. That is of course after I search it to make sure there are no holes or tears in the packages and we squeeze the chocolate until it’s flat to make sure there are no sharp objects in it. It’s a shame we have to do it but I guess it comes with the territory, sadly. Any way the kids are dressing up my oldest daughter as a punk rocker, my younger daughter as a gothic fairy (I know geeze right?) and my son as some kind of monster. They can’t wait to show off their costumes. So we will have hours of walking, in what will probably be the rain (we live in rainy country) for them to collect candy that I could have walked into any Wal Mart and bought in a matter of seconds. LOL but that’s Halloween. Have a wonderful holiday and hopefully we will all survive the sugar high.