generalparenting

This time the anxiety strikes me and not my son. I had to go to the post office yesterday to send off some packages and as I stood in line I was calm thinking about the people who would receive their packages and whether or not they would like them when I was called to the counter. I told the man what I wanted to send and asked how much, as he rang me up he began talking to me. I was so wrapped up in my own thoughts in line that it hadn’t occured to me that he may try talking to me.

 I was totally unprepared and I could feel myself starting to shake. I tried to answer his polite questions the best I could without passing out and I swiped my card to pay for the transaction. I could feel my ears turning red and the redness was creeping over my face. I could feel it as I began to choke for air. As soon as the little machine said the card was approved I practically ran out of there not even getting a receipt. I was so embarrassed at my sudden emotional outburst even though I know it is nothing under my control.

I have to go to the post office again today and I am terrified to go. I have more packages to send off and that means I will have to stand there a few minutes while everything is weighed and set up to go and then of course I have to pay for everything. I will have to hold at least a simple conversation with the person checking me out. This time I hope I am better prepared but still I hope it’s not the same man that checked me out last time. I’m sure he knows how out of control I was last time. I was acting so strange to someone watching the whole thing. People just don’t understand unless they have or are experiencing it. It’s not something easy to explain and I am to embarrassed to try with a complete stranger.

You all know I have been trying to get my child back into public school at his request for the last couple of weeks or so and I’m still trying to do that. The counselor at the middle school finally called me and told me that the school had an IEP meeting ( Individualized Education Plan) about my son and had to wonder if maybe my son would be better suited for a different school. They want to send him to a much smaller school where he can have more one on one attention. The school runs from grades K-8 and there are 185 students total. I love this idea but.. does that mean when it’s time for high school he will still need the smaller size school? If so that is doable it just means he has to go to the alternative high school that has something like 50 students total for the entire high school. I like that idea but it worries me that he will be with a lot of kids who have been in a lot of trouble and that high school is their last chance at graduation. I know I have taught him well and I know this is still a few years away but I have to worry any way.

Anxiety is something many adults across the country suffer from. They are Generalized Anxiety, Panic Disorder, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and Social Anxiety or Seperation Anxiety. These are all very real and they are all different anxiety disorders. In this post I am going to be focusing on Social Anxiety Disorder.

Social Anxiety causes many problems for individuals suffering from it. It causes anxiety over simple things like initializing a conversation with another individual, speaking in public, dealing with situations that are unfamiliar to the individual, being extremely upset in new places without knowing all the exits, and many other symptoms. Children have all of these with often more situations that can cause the anxiety.

A child has to get up in the morning knowing they have to face a few hundred other students who are not all friends with this child. They have to get ready even as the anxiety builds in their chests often causing shortness of breath, diahrea, nausea, fainting or feeling faint, hyperventalation, dizziness, vomiting, shaking, nervousness, and many other symptoms. They know they are going to have to try to leave their mother and father for the day which in itself causes anxiety. They may be called on in class which could cause embarrassment at the anxiety it brings as well as the other symptoms. They will most definitely have to face other students, and different situations different from the day before.

Anxiousness over takes the child thinking of all of the things that could cause anxiousness. I know that sounds ridiculous but as one who suffers more than one anxiety disorder this is an all to real fear. The child trying to face every day situations can cause isolation, acting out agressively, emotional out bursts, and over all disruption of their education. School can become difficult to face every day.

There are a few tricks I have come across to help with social anxiety although I have to admit most of them are avoidance. You can talk to your child and try to run through scenario’s of situations your child may come in contact with such as reading out loud to the family, or even alone to start out. Talk to your child about their feelings and the things that are hard for them to deal with because not all of these things will necessarily cause anxiety. Last but definitely not least reassure your child. Let them know that it will be ok.

My middle child asked me about a week and a half ago what it meant to be Schizophrenic. She said that some girl she knows at school talks to herself and uses different names when she does so. “She answers herself in different voices and names mom.” People make fun of her and she doesn’t have a lot of friends. I told her what I know about the disorder and told her that she should not treat this girl different because of things she does or says. My daughter said she felt bad for her and walked away with a look I had never seen on her before.

Yesterday my son was at grandma’s house and it was just her and I. She turned to me and asked me “do you think God talks to people?” I asked her what she meant. She said, well sometimes I hear voices. Then she hurridly said no not hear them but kind of hear them. Is it normal to talk to yourself? I said sure, I do it all of the time, but I was starting to worry about where this was headed.

My grandmother was a Paranoid Schizophrenic and killed herself when I was young. She heard voices coming from her walls and she would board up the house when any one would come or leave. I was begining to worry because my grandmother often thought God was talking to her and my daughter had no way of knowing these things.

My daughter continued by telling me that people have been making fun of her because she talks to herself. I told her that everyone talks to themselves some times. I asked if the voices were telling her to do things she said “no but sometimes I think they want to.” Totally freaked me out! I called and talked to the doctor about this, unsure of whether or not she is going through something of a typical teen trying to deal with mixed emotions, if she is looking for attention, if she trying to fit in with that girl, or if that girl never exsisted and is actually her. The doctor told me there is no real way of knowing especially if she refuses treatment. “We can’t make her go to treatment if she isn’t going to work with the doctors”. Well what can I do? I asked the doctor. She told me to just keep an eye on her. See if she starts isolating, see if she starts major mood swings and become destructive, and see if she starts getting into trouble for severe behaviour in school.

This is something I have never had to deal with. My son and older daughter I know what to expect because I have experienced it all before but with her I am at a loss. The doctor said it could be her trying to get attention or trying to fit in with this girl but my daughter doesn’t know my family history and looked and sounded so sincere when she talked to me about this. I never heard her sound so vulnerable. I don’t know I guess only time will tell.

I had an appointment for my son with his medication doctor and my concerns were whether or not I should put him on a more constant medication or leave him on something as needed. We went in and the doctor asked how he was doing. He answered honestly even though it was probably difficult to tell her his disappointment and fear that the medication was no longer working. He told her that his panic attacks were getting worse and that he was sleeping less.

My son, on a good day, doesn’t fall asleep until midnight no matter how early he gets up. On a bad day he can be awake until four or five in the morning before finally falling asleep. These are things that need considered when dealing with medication with him.

She asked him how his moods were and she looked at me. I didn’t respond until my son replied he has been bouncing up and down, sometimes being real crabby and sometimes being real sad. This is another symptom that needs to be considered when dealing with medications for him. She asked me if I agreed and I simply said yes. I wanted him to have a say in what was going on and I wanted her to listen to him more importantly than me.

She started going over our options. There was Ativan and that would help with the anxiety attacks, or there was Lamictal which is a mood stabilizer but it wouldn’t make him sleepy which he needs, and lastly there was Abilify that is also a mood stabilizer and would make him sleepy. Here we go.. these are my options for my son. Really? Does he need a mood stabilizer, probably. So my decision was Abilify but I let him ask questions about all of the medications and their side effects before I said anything.

I know about all three drugs because I have been or am on each of them at one time or another. I know the side effects are minimal with each and I know how they worked on me. I happened to like each of these particular prescriptions because they worked on me without making me feel zombiefied.

He asked some very good and important questions. He asked about side effects, he asked about weight gain and appetite, he even asked about long term effects. He looked at me and said he thought he wanted to try the Abilify and asked me what I thought. I told him I agreed and he got his prescription called into the pharmacy.

He acted in a very mature mannor yesterday and I’m glad to see he wants to be informed about the medications he is on. He has learned well. I’m not sure if he knew to ask these things or if he has picked it up from going to doctors appointments with me but I am glad he asked the questions he asked and I’m glad he got the answers he was looking for. It’s good to see him make an educated decision especially at his young age.