generalparenting

This time the anxiety strikes me and not my son. I had to go to the post office yesterday to send off some packages and as I stood in line I was calm thinking about the people who would receive their packages and whether or not they would like them when I was called to the counter. I told the man what I wanted to send and asked how much, as he rang me up he began talking to me. I was so wrapped up in my own thoughts in line that it hadn’t occured to me that he may try talking to me.

 I was totally unprepared and I could feel myself starting to shake. I tried to answer his polite questions the best I could without passing out and I swiped my card to pay for the transaction. I could feel my ears turning red and the redness was creeping over my face. I could feel it as I began to choke for air. As soon as the little machine said the card was approved I practically ran out of there not even getting a receipt. I was so embarrassed at my sudden emotional outburst even though I know it is nothing under my control.

I have to go to the post office again today and I am terrified to go. I have more packages to send off and that means I will have to stand there a few minutes while everything is weighed and set up to go and then of course I have to pay for everything. I will have to hold at least a simple conversation with the person checking me out. This time I hope I am better prepared but still I hope it’s not the same man that checked me out last time. I’m sure he knows how out of control I was last time. I was acting so strange to someone watching the whole thing. People just don’t understand unless they have or are experiencing it. It’s not something easy to explain and I am to embarrassed to try with a complete stranger.